The Turning Point

 I recently joined a text group with several of my friends who are writing, mostly fanfiction stuff. I’ve never been good at writing fictional stuff, but prefer writing from my life experiences. But I tried again and actually wrote a pretty good fiction story. But it got me thinking, and I remembered my blog “Abundant Life in Christ” I’d started a little over a year ago. I never actually finished writing what I intended, but I currently have a little more time on my hands and my creative writing juices are flowing again. 

The last time I wrote on this blog, I wrote about “Becoming a Butterfly”. Let’s just say, a lot has happened in a year, so hopefully this will turn into several blog posts. Let’s go back to where I left off. 

As I previously stated, “the greatest disappointments in life can actually be the greatest blessings in disguise.” The following story happened shortly before my “great disappointment of 2018”. As you know from my previous writings, I considered myself shy most of my life, and even as I started to become a butterfly and “come out of my shell”, I still disliked speaking in front of a group. Yet, I had started collecting food waste from a local school and in correspondence with the coordinator of this program, she invited me to speak to her class of students. I didn’t hesitate to reply, “Yes, I’d like to do that!” 

Panic then struck afterwards. What had I signed myself up for? I hadn’t ever given a presentation to a class of students, let alone ones I didn’t know! Would I get stage fright and not be able to deliver? 

But then I remembered, “I am a new creature in Christ. Old things have passed away, behold, new things have come.”

In preparation, I made my first PowerPoint presentation, wrote down everything I needed to say on a paper, so I would hopefully remember what to say. 

Then, the day came, January 4th. It started snowing on the way to the school, the roads were turning white and halfway there, at least an inch covered the road. Doubts started to flood my mind, Maybe they cancelled school today or they’re leaving early. Maybe I should just turn around and go home. This is crazy anyways, and the snow will give me an excuse to cancel. 

But I kept driving and pulled into the school parking lot. My heart pounding with adrenaline from the drive there and anticipation of the presentation, I walked up to the front door. Doors locked. Maybe I should just leave now. Last chance. I then saw the button to push to page the office. A voice answered, “Hello?” 

I shakily responded, “Hi, I’m Maria Schermerhorn and I’m here for Dawn’s class.” 

“Yes, come right in.” 

I opened the big, heavy door and walked inside. I didn’t know which way to turn. A voice from the right called out, “Over here. Dawn is on her way.”

Just then, a tall lady with short cropped hair said, “Hi Maria! So nice to meet you. Follow me to the classroom.” 

I followed, my body tensing and chin quivering with anticipation. The classroom was still empty, as I had arrived early. My hands shaking, I logged into the Office Online website and opened my PowerPoint Presentation. In my nervousness, I started talking with the teacher to try to keep my mind off the fact of what was about to take place. One by one, the students filed in and took their seats. After they had all arrived, Dawn introduced me briefly as the “chicken lady who’s been taking our food scraps”. I glanced down at my “cheat sheet” paper so I’d know what to say first. I stumbled over the first few words, but somehow managed to make enough coherent sentences that I could let the video I had chosen do the rest of the talking. 

As the video began, I took a deep breath and let out a sigh. Phew! I’ve made it this far! Hopefully, I can finish. 

Watching the 10 minute video, started to relax me and my untapped passion for education about food waste began to take over my insecurities. By the time the video ended, I forgot to look at my “cheat sheet” again, and the words just flowed out. I flipped between slides, added things I hadn’t thought about before, and before I knew it, I had reached the end of the presentation. Instead of fear and anxiousness, I sense of exhilaration and accomplishment flooded my being. You know, although nervous at first, I actually kind of enjoyed that! It wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be.

 I smiled and looked at the students, some of whom were paying attention and others nearly falling asleep. I asked, “Any questions?”

Of course, one student asked the infamous question, “How many chickens do you have?”

I laughed, “Too many too count. Not that I can’t count them, but I don’t have the time to at night and they move too fast during the day.”

Then, other questions were asked and I answered. But there was one, which became a turning point in my life. 

“Do you ever see this collecting food waste and composting with chickens becoming more than it is now? What are your dreams?” 

I don’t remember my exact response, but this question got me thinking in the days, weeks and months that followed.  Yes, I had dreamed of having my own composting business like Vermont Composting Co., but I was not that type of person to take that risk. I doubt anyone locally would be interested. It would probably fail. And even if I could, there’d be too many obstacles to overcome. How would I even start? I don’t know anything about starting a business. 

I left that classroom inspired and curious if it would be possible. But I didn’t really start exploring what could be, until a month or so later, after I had gotten the “no” from the one I thought I was going to marry. Yet, somehow, in spite of that great heartbreak, I found myself thinking, I really won’t know if it’ll work or not, unless I try. And thus began a journey that would impact so many areas of my life, as I knew it then.